dressing your babies in this will guarantee their becoming awesome scientists.

first rattle? medical tricorder.

Mission to Mold

We wage many battles in our day job as scientists. One enemy in particular remains undefeated: the second law of thermodynamics. Our lab's bacterial incubators are the front line against the Universe's relentless march of increasing entropy.

Incubators are really good at growing bacteria...and mold. Sometimes a flask is forgotten for several months, yielding mold where yeast or e. coli used to be, spawning a beast that threatens our very lives. Even a bath in pure bleach wasn't enough for this guy:

In another flask nearby, another mold creature had evolved:

We decided that extreme measures would be required to destroy them. But first, we needed an inspirational speech:

Sufficiently pumped up by Capt. Picard's defense of humanity, we donned our personal protective equipment:

Adding more bleach only made a foamy mess:

Undeterred, we brought out our next weapon: liquid nitrogen.

Despite the creatures' pleas for leniency, we poured their bleach-ravaged remains into a -196 degree C pool:

We waited for what seemed like hours, haunted by the screams of the mold as it succumbed to a frozen grave:

As the cloud settled, we were met with a reassuring sight: the exploded remnants of our moldy foe:

Humble as always, we took a moment to celebrate our victory. The carcass of the beast, smelling like a combination of plague-ridden foot and desiccated fly larvae, was unceremoniously dumped into the biohazard waste bin.

Having won this battle, the lab will remain safe for another day. As distinguished scholars, our epic battle immediately recalled that of Lt. Cdr. Worf, who gloriously fought in a Bat'leth competition on Forcas III:

The conditions were difficult, several contests were maimed, but we too were triumphant.

Who is the fourth unicorn?

The power struggle that raged during the redesign is over. Christina, Jake, and I retained our rank as Unicorns of the Hydrocalypse. Michael, however, who has returned to his native Dutch land was demoted from Unicorn to Horse. He remains an important part of the Hydrocalypse Industries family in his reduced role, but there must always be four Unicorns. In recent days someone has risen to fill Michael's place. The identity of the fourth Unicorn will not be revealed today, but we are ready to release footage of this person in action.

BEHOLD YOUR NEW MASTER

We're undergoing a redesign at hydrocalypse.com: UOTH is about to become a wholly owned subsidiary of HYDROCALYPSE INDUSTRIES(TM). This restructuring will allow us to fine tune our multimedia assault. We cannot provide further information at this time.

Science: Just Do It

Another inspirational science commercial from Hydrocalypse Industries.